


Le Cafe et L'enfer

by DraconicHex



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Touhou Secret Santa 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 02:52:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9052339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraconicHex/pseuds/DraconicHex
Summary: Maribel and Renko share a chat over some coffee on a chilly day, about Maribel's recent exploits in Hell.





	

“Renko, remember when I went to Hell, except it wasn’t?”

Maribel was nonchalantly pouring coffee, as if Hell was an everyday, normal place to visit.

Renko, who had been glancing over an old newspaper, glanced up. “I vaguely remember something like that maybe happening, yes. But why bring it up now? After all, it wasn’t Hell, anyway. So do quench my curiosity.”

“I went to Hell again, except it was. Actually Hell, that is. But, well, it wasn’t as hellish as I was expecting? At least, the part that I visited. It seemed more like a city than anything else? But it was somewhat on fire, and the people that I did meet assured me that it was, indeed, Hell.”

Renko started. “Wait. Hold on a second. The people you met? Were they humans, or what? Did you put yourself in danger talking to them? You promised that you wouldn’t talk to anyone in your dreams, in case they were youkai. You promised, Merry!”

“I didn’t put myself in danger. I could have left whenever I wanted! Let me take care of myself in my dreams, okay? They weren’t youkai, anyway. I think one of them was a vengeful spirit? And the other one, I know for sure what she was. She introduced herself as that, after all. She’s Hell’s goddess, apparently. Anyway, the pair of them were very nice, asked me if I was lost and all, and invited me in for tea. Very kind of them.”

Renko was without words for a moment, and then in an exhausted tone, asked: “Was the tea good, at least? Hell tea doesn’t sound like something I’d want to try anytime soon, but maybe your eccentric tastes don’t let it bother you.”

“It was delicious! Even though I had to leave abruptly halfway through it, since a fairy was ransacking the kitchen and Hecatia- that’s the goddess’s name, by the way- decided that it wouldn’t be the greatest idea to have a human hanging around for too long. So I ended up waking up at two in the morning, making myself some coffee which had absolutely no effect, and going back to sleep only to wake up at nine thanks to you yelling at the snow.” Maribel punctuated her sentence with a sip of coffee.

“It’s no wonder that the coffee didn’t have any effect, with the way you dump half a pint or so of milk into every mug… And I was perfectly within my rights to yell at the snow. I could have died slipping on it, you know! You have no evidence that it wasn’t attempting to kill me.”

Renko’s attitude with weather had only two settings: “it’s a lovely day out” and “all clouds deserve to be murdered”. Winter certainly helped to bring out the second.

“I do have evidence, Prosecutor Renko. It’s unwise to say your opponent has no case when you haven’t seen the case files yet, you know.” Maribel held a stack of completely blank papers in front of Renko’s face. “As you can see, our defendant, the snow, is non-sentient. Now, this proves one thing- that this could not have been an attempt at murder, as if something isn’t sentient, it can bear you no ill will! Thus, the snow is innocent. I close my case. Would you like a cookie with your coffee?”

“Sure. But can you tell me more about Hell? What was it like? What were Hecatia and the vengeful spirit like? Did they seem to get along? Why did a fairy start to ransack the Goddess of Hell’s kitchen? So many questions, so few answers.”

Maribel’s voice was muffled as she searched through the pantry. “We’re out of the little cinnamon ones you like, Renko. Is vanilla okay? But anyway, Hell was nice. Very warm- think midsummer- and very bustling. I must have seen at least ten shinigami on my way through the streets. And Hecatia was… interesting. Very familiar, with a unique sense of fashion, but she seemed kind. She offered to send me back to my world, but I declined since it’s not every day I get to go to Hell, and I wanted to savor the opportunity until I woke up. The vengeful spirit was also quite the character. Her name is Junko, by the way. Very sweet, but kept muttering under her breath about some Chang’e character. She seems to have quite a bit of pent up anger.”

“Yeah, the vanilla is fine. Vengeful spirits are usually angry, though, aren’t they?” Renko questioned as she finished the last dregs of her coffee and got up to pour more.

“Young ones are. When they get older, though, they tend to mellow out, lose the reason for their anger in the first place, and then just sort of disappear. It would be sad, if their entire reason for existing wasn’t expressly linked to their own suffering. As it is, it’s bittersweet.” A box of cookies landed on the counter, soon followed by another. “I did find the cinnamon after all, by the way. Anyway, you wanted to know what the fairy was doing there? Apparently Hecatia and Junko are her moms. At least, that’s what I gathered from her yelling ‘Moms, we’re out of chocolate again!’ while flying through the house at a speed that would make my head spin if I tried it.”

“They sound happy, despite the fact that they’re living in Hell. I would never be able to have that kind of optimism, with the souls of the damned flying around all day.” The coffee refilled, Renko sat back down and started poring over a crossword puzzle.

“Ah, Renko the nihilist! You wouldn’t be so down if you actually saw central Hell, you know. It’s like a city, with buildings made entirely of marble, and, well, there are a lot of overworked yama running around, but that’s not too different from Kyoto nowadays, is it? Most people there are quite friendly, too, except for the odd surly kishin. And even they give you a nod if you wave at them! Really, cheer up. It’s a nice place.” Maribel leaned on Renko’s shoulder and ruffled her hair. “Oh, and seven down is ‘reality.’ It’s got such a vague definition, it has no business being on a crossword puzzle in the first place, honestly.”

“Most people wouldn’t call reality vague, Merry. But thanks for the help. Even if it’s cold outside, your warm heart will heat me up, won’t it?” 

“That is undeniably the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me. I love it.” Maribel swooped over to plant a tiny kiss on Renko’s cheek. “I can’t wait to go on more adventures with you in the new year. Who knows what worlds we’ll uncover?”


End file.
